How to Recognize Exclusion

Signs of Exclusion

Exclusion can be hard to see, especially when it happens in small ways. 

These are some of the moments people often describe — signs that what you are going through is not just in your head.

Your greetings are not returned.

Conversations change when you arrive.

People avoid sitting with you or move away when you come close.

Your messages or emails are not answered.

You have been forgotten for meetings that concern you.

Decisions that affect you are made without your input.

Your ideas are overlooked until someone else repeats them.

You are invited to join, but not truly listened to.

These moments may be small on their own, and it is normal for each to happen every now and then. But when many of them happen repetitively, they can cause real harm, even if no harm was intended.

You are not imagining it.

Recognizing it in Yourself and Others

Exclusion is often invisible from the outside, and confusing from the inside. 

These are some behaviors and feelings that can help you recognize it.

In Yourself

If you recognize several of these, they may be signs you are experiencing exclusion:

• You feel present but invisible.

• You hold back from speaking because your words are often ignored.

• You replay small moments, trying to find proof of what happened.

• You feel drained after group interactions instead of supported.

• You find yourself withdrawing, avoiding contact, or losing motivation.

• You feel pain or stress that doesn’t match what others think is “a small thing.”

• You doubt your own perception — “maybe I’m imagining it.”

In Others

Exclusion is also visible in how people are treated. Watch for these signs around you:

• Someone’s contributions are passed over until another repeats them.

• A colleague is consistently left out of meetings or group chats.

• Their greetings or comments are ignored.

• They are invited along, but their presence is not engaged with.

• They become quieter over time, speaking less or avoiding group settings.

• They show signs of stress or detachment after team interactions.

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